People nowadays are under a great deal of pressure which comes from many places, such as working and studying. That is because most of us want a better life, so we work hard to achieve our goals. As a result, we spend all of our time to work and study, and we don’t get enough exercise. Lack of exercise makes us become fat, and work ineffectively.
If you are not getting enough exercise, you will become fat. We see many Americans are fat because they don’t get enough exercise. The result affected me. Before I came to America, I was very thin. Although I am still thinner than many Americans, my weight has increased more than 10 lbs. The pants which I bought in China were big before, but now they are too small for me to wear. That was because I spent most of my time sitting before my computer and didn’t do enough exercise.
If you don’t do enough exercise, your efforts will be ineffective because your brain doesn’t work. We all know we should do exercise after work or study to relax our brain. When I prepared my exams as I was a high school student, I spent the whole day to review, but I didn’t get a high score. After that, I figured out that was because my studying was ineffective, and I didn’t remember many things. Even though I worked hard, I didn’t let my brain rest, so it didn’t work.
As I mentioned before, lack of exercise is not good for us to achieve our goals and improve the quality of our life. We should do enough exercise to keep our working and relaxing balance and studying effective.
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Good work, Wendy. You have very few mistakes and your logic is excellent. Here is one thing to change: "If you don’t do enough exercise, your studies will be ineffectively"
ReplyDeleteChange to "...your efforts will be ineffective." After "be" you need an adjective not an adverb. "Studies" is a little awkward because usually we refer to people's efforts as being ineffective rather than a thing being ineffective.
hahaha It's true~ People need to exercise. These days many people don't do that. Go to gym!!! I cant't find your mistake in your paragraph. You are really good writer. Teach me please.
ReplyDeletei think your paragraph is good case for me!!!
ReplyDeleteif you have free time i want to ask you some grammar problems.:)
Almost one year to the United States, where a lot of food I gain weight.555555~~~~ I need to do more excrice to lose weight.
ReplyDeleteI think you can try to do exercise, this is really good for our body. Everyone came to USA. they will get fat. So we need do more execrise.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you. because I gain lots of weight since I came to America. actually food is different that the food is quite oily. so we need more excercise. we can't be lazy here.
ReplyDelete